Life is wasted on the living

There’s a saying about how youth is wasted on the young. When I heard this for the first time, I didn’t quite get it (I do now). When we get older we see all the opportunities and the good fortune the young people have, good health, lots of energy, innocence, optimism, etc.; which is probably why society idolizes young people – they’re strong, they’re optimistic and they’re beautiful. As youths we mostly focus on our limitations, problems and challenges (at least I did), and they seem overwhelming. Alas – youth is wasted on the young… We don’t appreciate it when we have it!

The problem with a society which idolizes youth becomes obvious once we’re past it, because; let’s face it: we aren’t getting younger... We look around at the Idols of the world, and find no-one that promote values like compassion, wisdom, understanding, clarity, reflection, etc. (Ok, maybe a few…) It’s all supposed to be fast and passionate. The elderly are often considered a burden on society, instead of an asset.

Why is this? Old people have experience and have usually accumulated a bit of wisdom which a youngster might lack. Sadly, with a society that looks at them as “dead- weight” many loose their incentive and become just that. I admire people who manage to reach old age, without becoming tired cynics, still optimistic and thinking positively, believing in the value of life and love at the brink of the grave. This quality; which we have in abundance as young, many of us loose somewhere along the road. Later in life it starts to look naïve to us, and we smile a bit condescendingly at the charms of the adolescent.

Sitting here at the peak of my life, having my youth lain out behind me and having (hopefully) a long stretch of getting older and wiser ahead of me, I wonder: Could life be wasted on the living? Like with the youth not appreciating their youth, we humans aren’t so good at truly appreciating our lives. We take it for granted most of the time, don’t we? Well, here I am living my life, wondering what the point of it all is. It is still beyond my comprehension, and sometimes I get the feeling that I am blindfolded and trying to find my path in a dungeon of confusion. Other times I get a glimpse of meaningfulness or a speck of insight into how things are connected, and it makes my soul soar. But, I can’t put it in my pocket. It keeps slipping away, back into the dungeon, where most of life is going on.

The big waste would be thinking that what goes on in the dungeon is: the real thing.

Farewell my friend

I buried a friend today, she was like me;
Confident in mid-life, with kids on her knee!
How can life be so cruel, unfair and tough?
What did the Lord do then, did he doze off?

Why did her path cross mine, why did hers end?
Questions are piling up, to Heaven: send
I want to scream and shout; cannot sit calm,
And see her kids grow up, without their mom!

Windowpane reflections

Passing by I look for myself in the windowpane reflections
But I don’t recognize the person looking back at me
All I see is a woman hurrying – somewhere, looks important
I cannot see me in there

What is so important that I left myself behind?

Sitting down on a bench I search the thoughts
Flowing lazily through my mind
For some sign of my true presence
Is that me obsessing about work
Or enjoying the sunset before me?

Feeling depressed about my limited scope
Recognizing only issues
I lose myself in the scenery
The sky and the sun painting their watercolor palette
Dissolving into the lush green forest,
Diving into the cool embracing waters

Taking in the whole picture
The ever present, ever changing, beauty of it all
I discover myself

Feeling fulfilled and rested I get up to go
Slipping away again from the moment
Going on to search for myself in windowpane reflections

The Sisyphus solution

In periods when work is dominated by routine tasks, or when problems of all sorts are lining up, zapping my energy; I sometimes find myself feeling sick and tired of my lot in life, thinking that if only I could just put down my burdens – then I’d be happy…

It isn’t difficult to recognize people that are worse off than me. From my café-table the other day, I saw an ordinary-looking woman sitting down on a bench in the beautiful spring sunlight, whilst bending down to pick up a cigarette-butt from the street, and then lighting it to have herself a smoke. Earlier that same day I had passed by an old bag-lady on a bench whose hair hadn’t seen a comb or shampoo, or probably even water, for God knows how long.

I know our position in society, or the weight of our burdens, isn’t what determines whether our lives are fulfilled and happy, although it sure doesn’t hurt to have a roof over our heads and a steady income... The dirty old bag-lady didn’t exactly strike me as content, but it was the vacant expression in her eyes, and not her hair, that gave her away, - much like the man in the picture above. I recognized the same expression on the face of a fancily dressed woman hurrying by the old hag on the bench, and I suspect that’s what my own face might look like on a bad day... So what is it that determines whether we find contentment or regret in our lives?

Sisyphus was given as punishment, for having tricked the Gods, to push a huge boulder up a mountain and then see it roll back down, over and over, day after day, for eternity. According to the philosopher Albert Camus Sisyphus reaches a state of contentment by acknowledging the futility of his task and accepting his fate. He made it his goal to push that rock as attentively and with as much passion he could muster, noticing the shape and feel of the rock etc, etc. “The struggle itself is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” Camus states in his essay from 1942 “The Myth of Sisyphus” in which he discusses the absurdity of life.

I guess in a way we are all pushing boulders up and down that hill. We can regret it and make ourselves miserable in the process, or we can decide to embrace our fate, whatever it may be; accept our limitations, and explore our opportunities! The reason we’re miserable is that there’s a conflict between our need to control our fate, and the fact it is ultimately beyond our control. If Sisyphus managed to find happiness within his condemned situation, it means anyone can! It is just a matter of awareness and acceptance.

Next time I’m feeling weighed down by my commitments and burdens of all sorts, I’ll picture Sisyphus happily pushing a huge boulder up a steep hill, and likely feel less inclined to self-pity.